How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
