Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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