the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
