YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
