i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
