the day after is always just damage control
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
