This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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