he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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