I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
