turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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