I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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