I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
BRING THE BAGELS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
