You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize