You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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