So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
