my phone cant type all the emotion im having
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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