UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
