I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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