How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
