you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
