2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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