Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
