Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
