He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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