Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize