did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
