My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
