My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize