People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
