Don't make out with my wife yet
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
