How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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