Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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