is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
