The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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