we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Even my vagina gasped.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
