Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
