I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
