ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
