I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
