so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My life is pants optional.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
