So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
