the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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