this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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