dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
