Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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