Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my being single is dangerous.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
