Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had to cum in my sink.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize