Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
