You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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