my room smells like sperm. sweet.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
