just tell him i said nine months
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
