I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
