What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
