Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
