Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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