he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
