Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
