Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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